Smile
When I was still in college studying for some management 101 classes, what I remember most from that class was if you want to be a good manager, you'd have to have a constant attitude. So that your staff can always be able to count on you, and be able to walk into your office and speak with you at any circumstances.
I found that could be applied to many other things than just in an office or be a manager. It sounded easy, but not at all. Human is human. Everyone has his or her emotions, tempers and situations that affect their performances.
I know I personally don't have much of a temper(yes I double checked with my friends!), but until last October; I realized I had developed quite a temper. Simply because I got pressured and too much stress from the business, the lost in sales, and performances from my staff. I'm sure part of the reason was also because I never had a day off since before opening. I've heard of all kinds of stories about how all the famous chefs tossing plates and glassware at their staff in the kitchen. Hope that's not the way to be one!?
I also noticed it usually only happened when I was cooking in the kitchen. From the Chinese medicine stand point, it's because too much "heat" inside the body, plus facing the fire whole day would cause that. Those were the times when I missed my mother most, because when she was here, she would make all kind of Chinese herbal soup to bring down the heat, for better skin...etc. My friends and my staff know me well enough to forgive me or just ignore me, let me vent and respond to my questions. It's because they all know after that, will be the happy me again to party and eat and drink with.
I think the last time I was most frustrated was the last Valentine's Day. From not enough sleep to start with, tremendous pressure working on my 1st Valentine's day, high expectations to the chef menu with the regular menu, to hadn't got enough time to prepare, reservations were over booked, on top of that, SF chronicle came at the peak time for photo shoot...etc. I was still handling fine until the same staff came in at least 3 times asking for the same order that I cooked for more than 3 times already. That's when I stopped everybody and raised my voice trying to find out what's going on.
Other than that, things that happened in your personal life, which may affect you most at work also. How can you still pull yourself together and go to work? AND bring a smile on your face to face your customers and your staff!? THAT'S hard! When a customer asked you, "how are you tonight?" Even though you felt like hell, "Oh great! How are you?" I must say, that's so not me! I always express my feelings truly and honestly. However how could you tell your customers, "oh I feel horrible, really not in the mood to talk at all...." You can't! You have to put up that face!
So when I work the floor, it forces me to smile at the customers, chit chat some random topics with my customers, oh and you still have to operate in front of your staff! Hopefully you don't have any headache or stomach cramps or back pain or simply tired or physically drained...etc. However by doing that, it also forces me to take all other thoughts off my head and just concentrate on what I'm doing on the floor. Maybe tha'ts also a good thing!?
All I can say is, take a deep breath, put on that big smile and keep it up! If you can fool everybody, so that they all can still have a great time at the restaurant, that's your reward behind all the sorrows already! (Hmmm...but will I be able to smile inside yet?) At the end, I still have to thank all my true and loving friends because they're always there for me, holding my arms to make sure I won't fall. Everytime I see them walk through the front door, whatever inside me that's boiling, it feels like their presence would just pour a big pot of ice water in and cool down everything. To all freinds who love me so dearly, THANK YOU!